Late-night comedian Conan O’Brien’s blog has a new post parodying Washington’s excessive spending. “Team Coco has found out why our government is so broke,” the blog explains, “They’ve been spending all our hard earned tax dollars on some pretty ridiculous programs.” The post contains a list of humorous fake programs and encourages readers submit their own.
But sadly, there’s no need to turn to a crack team of comedy writers to gin up examples of ridiculous government spending. Instead, one need only look to the shenanigans on Capitol Hill to find a list of absurd expenditures of taxpayer dollars. As Heritage has reported, in addition to long-term, substantive reforms, $343 billion of wasteful government spending could be cut immediately. And while Conan’s list is populated by a number of outlandish (but fake) programs, there are plenty of REAL government programs that are just as ridiculous. Conan, try these on for size:
- Washington will spend $2.6 million training Chinese prostitutes to drink more responsibly on the job.
- Because of overstaffing, the U.S. Postal Service selects 1,125 employees per day to sit in empty rooms. They are not allowed to work, read, play cards, watch television, or do anything. This costs $50 million annually.
- Stimulus dollars have been spent on mascot costumes, electric golf carts, and a university study examining how much alcohol college freshmen women require before agreeing to casual sex.
- Washington will spend $615,175 on an archive honoring the Grateful Dead.
- The Securities and Exchange Commission spent $3.9 million rearranging desks and offices at its Washington, D.C., headquarters.
- Congress recently gave Alaska Airlines $500,000 to paint a Chinook salmon on a Boeing 737.
- Washington spends $25 billion annually maintaining unused or vacant federal properties.
- The Federal Communications Commission spent $350,000 to sponsor NASCAR driver David Gilliland.
- Washington has spent $3 billion re-sanding beaches—even as this new sand washes back into the ocean.
- Taxpayers are funding paintings of high-ranking government officials at a cost of up to $50,000 apiece.
- The Conservation Reserve program pays farmers $2 billion annually not to farm their land.
And the list goes on and on. When it comes to government spending, the truth is often stranger than fiction.
the truth of the irresponsible, reckless, irrational, impractical, outrageous, spiteful government spending of tax payers earned money, (hopefully) wouldn't have gotten a laugh…
While all that wacky spending is obviously bad, and a testament to the corrupt culture in Washington, the worst of all is the liberal mindset that is the backbone of the $ 2.392 TRILLION we spend on social(ist) programs and the $197 BILLION we spend on Interest on the Debt (compared to 700 billion we spend to provide for the common defense). Or how about the $750,000 cost of each nude scanner for the TSA, and excessive payments to unions… And lets not forget this is federal spending, states have plenty of inefficiency as well. I think it is quite reasonable to cut (federal) govt spending IN HALF.
The Grateful Dead one, at less than $1 million, I can justify. (sarcasm)
Honestly, though: you could build 3,000 Grateful Dead museums at a cheaper cost than the fed's annual efforts sanding beaches.
Great article – emailed this around to the whole office.
At least I've heard about the dire straights of the postal service. How can they ask Congress with a straight face for more funding or for permission to raise the price of postage when they pay people not to work? What business in this country, at least the non-unionized ones, could afford to pay people not to work?
Do you still believe this is a recession America?
it's a take over!!
$600,000+ for a memorial to the Grateful Dead…wow, I could live pretty well off that for 10 years…
Vote all incumbents out! Contribute $$ and volunteer for new challengers and speak out on term limits!
the resanding of beaches is not a crazy as it sounds … there are good reasons to do this but it should be local issue … mostly a tourism issue and should be paid for by the communities who benifit not the feds …